Have you ever done this before?
After unloading all the children and groceries from the shopping cart at Safeway I needed to put the cart away. These carts require the twenty-five cent deposit to use the cart. Well, with no cart corral in sight Melissa suggested I just attach my cart to a nearby cart thereby getting my meager deposit back. A quarter is a quarter after all. To my surprise and satisfaction the stranded cart that I attached mine to also had a quarter in it. I just had to have that quarter. A quick glance around the parking lot revealed two other carts. Now, sometimes these carts don't have quarters in them, but believe it or not it was my lucky day. Each of the two carts had a quarter in it. Now I have freed 3 of 4 quarters. That equals seventy-five cents folks. I had to have that last quarter to make it an even dollar, I didn't just want it I needed it.
Now I know that people were looking at me, especially the wife. She laughed at me and probably used words under her breath like 'genius', which also means 'idiot'; oh I know. See if I buy you anything with my dollar.
But lo and behold I spotted one of those little old person carts (I only say that because I have really only seen old people use them). Who knew a stigma could be attached to a shopping cart.
I grabbed it and then couldn't immediately figure out how I was going to attach this teeny cart to the larger 'young person cart'. Here's where the genius kicked in. I had to back it up to the front, larger cart and free the last quarter with the small 'old person cart'. I had a whole dollar. Wow, it took ages to accumulate that much money when I was twelve years old. You'd find a couple dimes along the edges of Dad's recliner. That chair always coughed up a little. A kid might also nip a nickle or quarter from his jacket. Lets not forgot the washer and dryer, you always had to check there. Once I found twenty dollars in the dryer; finders keepers. The rest had to come from empty pop bottles. Kids today could clean house in a mall parking lot if it weren't for rap music and video games. I didn't see one kid scoping carts.
Their loss my gain. I think I'll save it for the candy machine at work, get a bag of Cheezies.
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13 comments:
i like it. and forget the whole idiot thing, i think it's genius. or as i like to call it, redneck innovation.
"if it weren't for rap music and video games"!! Love it! You really do write like Uncle John! I'm so glad you blog! This was hilarious.
My favorite quote: "see if I buy you anything with my dollar".
You should follow me around when I shop. Cart full of groceries, get to the car, Bella in first to keep her warm, then the groceries, and then the cart. But I can't bring the cart back and leave Bella in the car alone. Someone will see and call Social Services on my ass. So I leave it. Even at Stupidstore the one time, and those carts are a dollar. You could keep yourself in Cheezies for a long time following me to the store.
This was hilarious! I wish I had been there to see this!
Enjoy your cheezies!!!
Glad you are blogging. I always thought that you would be good at writing. And yes you do sound like your Dad when you write. Me and Trav should have been there...we would have cheered you on!!! Now you wont have to borrow money from Melissa to buy junk food at work :)
I too am really enjoying reading your blog, and I also agree with everyone..it's like reading something your dad wrote :)
This post was hilarious!!!
This is Auntie Mitz btw.
You are so weird.
Another reason to love or hate Costco! No money for the carts. If they did you could pay for your membership in no time.
Uncle Marv
Don't say stuff like that Uncle Marv, they might be listening.
If Costco charged for carts they'd find a way to make you jam a fiver into it to get the cart out.
And Ang, it's called being thrifty and creative not weird.
And thanks everyone for your kind words.
johnny, honestly, i think that the genius thing is in our blood. i figured out this summer that if i bring my wheel ramps with me to the drive in theater i can see the screen without that little bit of tint at the top of the windshield being in the way. everyone was looking by all what the heck and asked me about it, after i explained it, i looked pretty dang smart.
Oh man. This blog is frickin awesome.
Yup, you are not in the top ten percentile for nuthin.
This blog makes me laugh! I am so happy your are part of the blogging world. I have yet to figure mine out.
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